I want to be Mindful, but Cute Pandas are in the way!

I've been trying to get into the habit of meditating as consistently as possible, for about 10-20 minutes a day. The goal of meditation is to increase mindfulness, to be in the moment, and not get sucked into your own thoughts. I mean it sounds easy on paper--just remain aware of what's going on around you, but man is it hard to apply IRL! I mean, just the other day before shipping out to work in the morning, I did my usual 10 minute meditation using the Calm app (it's a great meditation app, for anyone interested). I opened my eyes afterwards, brimming with mental clarity as I turned towards my laptop to get some quick work from home action. Then I open Reddit and BAM: I laser in on a top voted post of pandas falling off a tree stump and bounce-landing on their cute little bottoms. I mean, holy shit!! How do you even deal with that? I spent the next 30 minutes watching GIF after GIF of cute panda action (I would highly recommend r/Panda_Gifs for all your cute panda needs). I had to drag my ass out of my chair, sprint my balls off out of my apartment, and sprint to work. Spoiler alert: I was late.

Right, in the future, Jonathan: gotta remember stay aware of our surroundings, prioritize tasks, and avoid endless panda gifs.

Holy Shit, There Are Cobwebs In My Apartment

I woke up this morning, did my usual stretches and sit-ups, and then sat down to check Reddit. While I was typing away, lost in the waves of the Internet, I suddenly became mindful of the cobwebs at the base of my desk, wedged between the wiring of my space heater. Fucking. Cobwebs.

You know, the funny thing is I actually hadn’t been bothered by cobwebs in the past. They're aged and dusty, there’s no actual spider on the cobwebs, therefore that must mean that cobwebs are harmless. But wait a minute…

I hadn't given much thought into what cobwebs really meant before. I mean cobwebs are tangible proof that spider(s) were crawling around, 5 feet from the bed that I sleep in!! Like if I actually woke up and saw a god damn spider crawling around 5 feet away from me spinning its web of death, I would lose my shit. I would jump 60 feet into the air out of my bed and run screaming fucking bloody murder out of my room, and probably sleep upstairs for the next week or so.

I mean the spiders don't even make an effort to hide the webs. It's like they're leaving behind a subtle reminders that they're around, and that they don't fuck around. It's terrifying when I think too much about it.

I'm probably going to use a vacuum on the area tonight.

Why Am I Smelling Things That Aren't There???

At the end of August my company hosted a retreat at KenMont KenWood (did you notice that put together, the words form an interesting mirrored shape?). It was a camp loaded with activities, and I had a swell time, apart from completely flunking at waterskiing :( Upon coming home to my apartment, however, I inexplicably began to smell cigarette smoke everywhere...

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The Origins of mrcornman

Where does the name "mrcornman" come from? In the summer after my sophomore year of university, I taught teenage students at a tech camp called iD Tech Camps. Our first task as instructors at the camp was to come up with a silly nickname for ourselves that the students would be required to address us as at all times. I chose "Corny" as my nickname in a blaze of inspiration, deriving it from my love of corn as a food, and my taste for corny humor. This might just be me, but there's something oddly satisfying about making people call you by a name that you personally invented. Eventually, one of the students--we'll call her Sarah--improved upon the concept and began calling me "Mr. Cornman" instead of Corny. The name clicked and shortly after my time teaching at the tech camp, I built V1 of this website in Wordpress, changed my Twitter handle to @mrcornmann, and otherwise completely overhauled my brand to revolve around the concept of corn. Thanks for beginning the movement, Sarah.

The Pains of Building a Django Blog

This post is going to talk about how I set this blog up. Warning!!! Do not read this post if you are allergic to terms like "static files" and "DNS"!!! Normally, sane people who want to start a blog use blogging services like Tumblr or Wordpress. I had gone the Wordpress route before, however, and after losing all my old blog post data from my old blog I decided I wanted to try hard mode this time and set up the blog on my very own web app. After researching various web frameworks, I decided to work with the Django web framework.

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First Post (Welcome!)

Ok peeps, it's happening. First post of this blog! My name's Jonathan and I created this blog on a bit of a whim. I wanted my own private place to share weird life experiences and random thoughts, without having to expose myself through Facebook or Twitter. Why should you care? Well think about it this way: I'm young, inexperienced, and also a little weird, which often leads to strange or disastrous situations that should be avoided. If someone like me can learn not to microwave aluminum, you can too!

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